its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
