my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize