He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
