hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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