I met the friendliest cop last night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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