It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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