dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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