i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
