I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
