Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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