Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
