the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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