Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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