Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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