Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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