i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
