do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
