You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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