I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
