was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
