i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
