It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
