What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
