thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
