I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
