We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize