She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
