Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
