i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
