he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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