Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
