so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
