Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
