Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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