i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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