so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
