The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
