Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
