i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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