Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
