We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
