God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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