She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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