I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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