I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
