Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
