And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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