all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
