Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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