I feel like abortions should bother me more
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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