he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We just shotgunned beers for America
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
